Sunday, October 31, 2010

Ribless McRib

My BFF, Amber...

Hey Amber!

Is quiet possibly the biggest McRib lover in the world.   Seriously, she talks about it a lot.  Like a lot a lot.

She knew exactly when her seasonal delight would be back and had extra napkins waiting.  

She has people around the state updating her daily about when they were going to go get one.  

She even claimed she WAS the McRib for a couple days.  See below picture taken straight from her facebook profile picture.  

Yes, she does have a problem no drug can solve, however, I love her dearly!  

 Her addict presents a small problem.  You see, for nearly 14 years now I've been a vegetarian.   I will save the story of how that came to be for another day.  And even though McDonald's uses some foreign substance that likely has never oinked a McRib just doesn't fit into my lifestyle.  

I really felt this created a wall between Amber and I.   She taking on the identity of the McRib and really left little for us to talk about.  Her biggest topic of debate was yea or nay on getting onions on her beloved sandwich left me scratching my head saying, "What in the heck is she talking about?"

So, I decided I wanted in on the sacred delight.   I was going to do the unthinkable...  

No, not eat the McRib!   I have ethics here people!  I was going to get a Ribless McRib.  

Amber had her hesitations.   I think the thought of me messing with her perfect sandwich was a little unsettling to her.   However, I really felt like it was necessary to close this gap between us.  

So last week I go to my favorite McDonalds.  Pull in and they say "Oh, LeeAnn it is so good to see you!  You want a half and half tea?"  Haha, just kidding... though I think it could really happen.  

I ask for my Ribless McRib.   They ask me to repeat myself.  

Now, being a vegetarian who goes to fast food places for 14 years now, I've learned a thing or two.  One is, that if you order a hamburger hold the hamburger meat or chicken sandwich with no chicken, things are going to get screwed up.   Which, I really cannot fault anyone for.  I am a weirdo who loves a good bun with mustard and ketchup.   I can't expect everyone to get that. 

So, it is no surprise my Ribless McRib was causing some heading scratching.   As the horns start honking behind me, I say "Nevermind, just give me a McRib and half & half tea."  

I pay for my sandwich and pull out heading towards my night class.  

After pulling the big daddy out, I give it a good look over realized that as honed as my driving while eating skills are, there was no way I was going to be able to handle deconstructing this saucy mess and driving at the same time.   So, I put the McRib back in the bag and drive on to school. 

After getting to UT, I pull the thing back out and take a good look at it.   For those who are McRib novice like myself, it is basically a piece of rib meat (or something like that) SLATHERED in barbecue sauce with onions and pickles on a toasted bun.  

I throw the rib piece along with the onions back into the bag.  I begin making myself a napkin bib and wave at some ladies from my class.  

Then I take my first bite.   Sauce squirts out the sides all over my hands and face.   I take another bite to really get the experience of it all.  

And I have to admit, the barbecue sauce bun has to be right up there with my ketchup and mustard bun.   Probably doesn't touch my cheese only sandwich, but still pretty tasty.  

Two things...  First, I spent the entire class paranoid that I had sticky barbecue sauce all over my face.  And second, unfortunately I think that Amber does not see this as truly "getting" it.   I still am lacking in my knowledge of this culinary giant because I didn't "really" eat a McRib.

But, the good news is that the McRib will be gone another soon and things will be back to normal.  

1 comment:

  1. i guess you gotta love it, comparing the ribless mcrib, to the rib mcrib, and big hair (of which i like to sport) and little hair, there is no comparison..funny how things work out